It’s amazing how much my mood can swing in the space of a few days. I went from being so blissfully giddy and happy at the beginning of the week to wondering if there’s something wrong with . . . well, either this situation or me in general. To paraphrase one of my favorite books, "It’s hard when you feel like you’ve connected with someone and then the next day it seems like they want to take it all back." Or something like that. I’m not entirely sure how it goes but that’s the gist.
God, I just don’t know anymore. It’s infuriating in a way, trying to have something with someone who only comes around when you ask. I don’t want to be the one doing all the work here, because it makes me look like I’m throwing myself at him. And I am under no circumstances the sort who does that. On top of not wanting to be played as a fool, I also don’t want to give my somewhat know-it-all mother the satisfaction of being right here. Partially because I really want this to work out, to go somewhere, but also because I have my pride to consider. And my pride refuses to acknowledge that I could have potentially fallen for two different people at two times who are all wrong for me.
Helpful advice anyone? Sorry to bitch to the few people who read this, but I just don’t know what to do.