I hate shopping. Especially when it’s with my family. That sounds so awful of me to say, but unless my dad is there to act as a buffer, shopping with my mother and sister drives me freaking crazy.
Today I got dragged into it, largely because we were out running around to begin with and it seemed like a good idea to try and talk my sister into spending some of her gift card money at the same time. Old Navy went fine, and with a little advice I managed to pick out two shirts that I liked and that no one else found terribly ugly. TJMaxx, however, was where things went slightly to hell. For those of you who don’t shop there, you always look on clearance, and your chances of finding anything are about fifty percent, regardless of when you go.
So my mom and sister and I are looking for stuff, and we each found one or two things apiece. In the dressing rooms we’re in the process of trying stuff on. Of the two things I picked, one didn’t fit, and the other was not liked by my mother. I forget how exactly we got to this point, but I was giving my mom and sister crap for vetoing this really nice pair of pants, and telling them that they’re both too picky when it comes to shopping. Fair assessment, if you know them. My sister’s response? "We look good because we care about what we buy."
Read the implication in that statement please. Try and tell me it wasn’t a diss, regardless of how she intended it. Whatever the reason, I got quite upset and left the dressing room to go stand outside. It probably wouldn’t have mattered so much if I hadn’t already been feeling not so great about myself as it was. That little comment though really upset me.
For those of you who are wondering why I care what my mom and sister think, I’ll explain. If I pick out something that doesn’t appeal to them at all, they will nag me about it or mention it maybe half the times I wear that item of clothing. After a while I get so sick of it that I start placating them to keep them off my back. (Besides, they know more about fashion than I do. Usually I bow to their judgement.)
Seriously though, this is why I have a hard time considering myself pretty, at least on certain days. Even hearing it over and over doesn’t wipe out entirely the way I think about myself sometimes.