Yeah. So. Secrets Suck.

Life has basically been complete shit of late. I really don’t have the energy, or the ability to say much more than that. I slog through school, I slog through work, I slog through homework, and I slog through things that are supposed to be fun, like revising my newly completed novel and reading.

I can’t tell more than half of my friends what the real issue here is, and even the two people who know anything know far more than they should. I can’t help it. I can’t keep all this crap to myself. The only things I look forward to anymore are seeing my friends and hanging out with my boyfriend. Talking to my friends from home is nice too, except for the fact that they don’t have the foggiest idea what’s happening because I CAN’T TELL THEM.

Plus, it isn’t as though my boyfriend is even here all the time, as I think my state of mind would be better if he was. He comes once a week like clockwork, and I love him to death for it because I know that, right now, it’s kind of a pain in the ass for him to get to where I am. I just . . . need to see him far more than he probably needs to deal with right now. I shouldn’t be pushing the multitude of shit that’s been going on onto him, but I want to. He’s been so good to me though, so I feel like I shouldn’t.

At any rate, here’s hoping things get better. I’m slowly sinking into a hole, and that hole gets deeper with each passing day. If things don’t improve, the light will just disappear.

Note: Sorry for all the emo-ness. Things are just really bad right now.

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3 thoughts on “Yeah. So. Secrets Suck.

  1. Things will get better for you. I know they will. But in the meantime journaling is something that can potentially help. While in LJ we let friends read our thoughts it doesn’t mean that we have to frame them a certain way so that others approve. Everything you write doesn’t have to be rainbows and sunshine. Emo happens to everyone, and a journal is one of the few places you don’t have to censor your feelings. Don’t ever be sorry for what you write. 🙂

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