Well, this is going to be fun . . .

I am exactly two weeks and a day into the semester and already I’m thinking I might die.  Was it wrong of me to sit back and think, "Oh, well, I got the classes I wasn’t terribly excited about out of the way last semester, and besides, how much work can two classes through the creative writing track be?" 

Well, my (livejournal) friends, let me tell you that I have been able to do some calculations and have discovered that I was full of shit.  (Props if you know where the quote came from.)  I am already behind on work, behind on sleep, behind on working out, behind on everything else, and pretty annoyed with myself. 

Literally all I did this past weekend, other than spend time with the boyfriend and some friends, was read for school.  And I was still incapable of finishing the two–count them, two–novels I was supposed to have read for Monday.  I see no way to catch up on homework this semester other than to forgo sleep.  (And we all know what happens when I forgo sleep.)

Right now, my to do list goes a little something like this:

1.  Lit and Culture readings for tomorrow (over 70 pages to highlight)
2.  Reading for Spanish on Wednesday and answering questions
3.  Reading and editing two short stories for Weds.
4.  Reading journals due Thurs.
5.  Paper due Fri.
6.  Practice clarinet.  Practice, practice, practice. 
7.  Assorted other homework assigned throughout the week

Throw in the other unavoidable tasks I have this week like, oh, going to class, feeding myself, cleaning up the mess I make feeding myself, working 11 hours, and trying to take minute amounts of time to myself, and you’ll see why I’m grateful I didn’t take my usual course load.  This is only 15 HOURS people.  And I still think I might go crazy by spring.  

Rant done.  Time to finish running errands then go back to work.   

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Classes Start Tomorrow (and writing updates)

I’m not sure how to feel about this.  On the one hand, I’m ready to go back to having something to do other than sit around on my ass.  I get this way sometimes.  After awhile I just get bored of doing the things I usually do and want to go out and do something else.  Of course, within two weeks tops, I’m going to be wishing the semester would just END, because I’ll be buried under schoolwork and job and trying to get The Recruited into fighting shape. 

Looking forward to starting work, just because I’m looking forward to having some money come back into my hands.  I’ve been broke and unemployed for so long that the thought of having extra cash makes me really happy.  My goal is to make enough to buy books next year, and to pay my parents the now 1300 I owe them for tuition next year.  

Everything is next year with me right now, maybe because that will be my final year of college and then I’ll be finished.  My education will be complete–I have no intention of going onto grad school–and I’ll be forced to find a job in the real world.  My goal is to have been querying a while by then, in the hopes that I’ll have snagged an agent before I graduate.  Seriously, that would make me so happy.  And for once, it seems to be a goal that’s within reach.  

I’m so accustomed to setting goals for myself that don’t seem unreasonable until I start taking steps to get there.  For once I’d like to set a goal and meet it by the time I say I will.  Now’s not the time for screwing around.  Sure, I’m a little burnt out on both my manuscripts right now, but by the time classes restart I’ll be dying to get back to work.  Here’s hoping anyway.  I still plan to enter the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award, assuming my novel is reedited by that point.  If it isn’t, I’ll just return to my goal of trying to query by summer.  

Right now it’s harder to say whether the rewriting, editing, or research is kicking my ass more.  I’ve been looking up agents, and reading over Ms. Snark’s blog again, just to make sure I’m not going to colossally screw something up.  Once I have a certain number of agents–I think the magic number is either 150 or 30 pages on AgentQuery, whichever comes first–I’m going to go back and look at their websites, and go over their client lists, and read interviews.  Anything that might give me a leg up is going to get done. 

The way it’s looking now, I’ll be done with the rewriting/editing stage well before I’m done with the research, which is as it should be.  I’m just trying to balance the two right now so I don’t devote more time to one than the other.  This balancing act is going to get even crazier once I’m neck deep in school work.  Let’s see if I can continue to juggle without dropping any balls.
 

The Writing Blues and General Update Things

Lately I’ve been feeling the writing blues, which, at least for me, is a mindset in which I don’t want to do anything regarding my stories.  The Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award is coming up on January 24th, which means ideally I’d like to have The Recruited fully edited by that point.  I know my chances of winning anything are miniscule, and I’m really just looking to get through the pitch round, but I would feel really lackluster about the whole thing if I knew I hadn’t fully finished editing my manuscript and submitted it anyway.  I’ve been trying to push myself to do a little bit every day, just so it gets done before I go back to school, but it also doesn’t help that I’m coming up on a section that needs desperately to be rewritten, and I just DON’T WANT TO.

Sigh.  So yeah, that’s my issue there.  To make matters worse, I’m also having issues with The Lost.  I recently had to redraft a whole three chapters because the way I initially planned it just didn’t work.  I’ve never had to do that before, and I’m not sure if that’s got me down or the fact that I suddenly don’t know how to get to the giant climax section is.  I know what happens in the climax, at least in general terms.  I know who lives and who dies, and I know how the book ends.  It’s connecting these points that’s going to give me fits.  Basically once I get past the scenes I have outlined, I don’t know where to go. 

Not to mention I’m not feeling inspired for anything else.  Usually if I’m not feeling the novels I go write a prompt off the never-ending 100 Prompts Challenge, but even though I know what the next few are, I’m just not interested in doing those either.  I need to get my writing mojo back, and fast.

In other news, the boyfriend’s visit was great.  We went into the city with my family, had lunch with , saw the latest Harry Potter film a few weeks after everyone else, etc.  It was a really great time, and as always, I was sad to see him go.  We’re taking my sister back to college this weekend, and I go back on Wednesday, so I’m struggling to get everything done before then.  Of course, once I get back to school and classes plus new job start–HUZZAH–I’ll probably want nothing better than to write.  

Just the way life works, I guess, but still, how frustrating!