Changes

Why is it that every single second semester of each year of college I’ve experienced has been full of changes?  Second semester my freshmen year I met my first long term boyfriend, second semester sophomore year I had a ton of things change regarding my family that have no bearing on the internet, and second semester this year, I saw that long term relationship end. 

All of these are things I never thought would happen, things I never saw coming.  I’ve never been good at dealing with bad changes.  Adaptability is something I desperately need to work at, because I have this tendency to become a creature of whatever routine I’ve developed.  After the break up, dealing with the holes in my routine was almost as bad as missing the guy was. 

Luckily, there is something I’ve learned from all this, which is that I am more than capable of getting by, of surviving whatever is thrown my way.  (And some of it was pretty awful at the time.)  For me, surrounding myself with awesome people is the easiest way to make sure I can keep going, keep pushing ahead even when it’s hard.

The next year is going to be full of huge changes, in both my personal and professional lives, I know this.  And for the first time, I’m sure that I’ll be able to handle whatever comes up.  In spite of all the bad that’s happened in the last month, I’ll always be grateful for that particular revelation.

Anyway, sorry to get all philosophical on you guys.  I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I think that’s where this came from.

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No News is . . . No News

Not much happening on the querying front.  I sent out another letter two days ago because I saw that this particular agent is looking to rep what I have.  Other than a confirmation email saying that she’d gotten the query and promising to get back to me, I haven’t heard anything.  I’m getting close to resending one of them because they promise to reply in a certain time span, and that time span is already exceeded.  I’ll give them another week before I’ll probably resend. 

I am open to opinions though.  This is one of those agencies that responds to everything, or at least did the last time their website was updated.  Thoughts?  Resend or not?

Sadly I haven’t been doing as much writing as I’d like.  School has gotten in the way of my time, and life has gotten in the way of large portions of my motivation.  That’s just kind of the way things are right now, and when I’ve been able to get anything done, it’s been largely on the Back to Roots rewrite.  Of course, that’s probably better right now, just because this needs to be done or largely done for  in late June and because I have hopes of potentially publishing it some day.  I still really love these characters, and I feel like I’ve done a much better job of telling their story this time around. 

Which reminds me.  Back to Roots really kind of needs a new title.  I mean, the current one isn’t awful, but it wouldn’t hurt to find one that better summarizes the story as it is now.  If at some point I come up with a new one, I’ll let you know before I start referring to the book that way. 

And that’s all for now.  Over and out.

Relevant Song Lyrics

Music has taken on a completely new meaning for me after . . . well, after everything.  This is just a list of lyrics in songs I’ve been listening to a lot lately, for one reason or another.  I’m going to friends lock this entry, but I’m certainly not going to care if anyone reads it.  That being said, this is more an exercise in my sanity than anything profound, and will probably be added to at will.

"The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love they leave me breathless
I can’t help feeling
We could have had it all"

"Never mind I’ll find
Someone like you
I wish nothing but the best
For you
Don’t forget me
I beg
I’ll remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love
And sometimes it hurts instead"

"I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you’re gone and I’m haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out 
Of my life?"

"And I keep trying,
I keep trying
To make my way back to the light
Where I belong
But God keeps lying
God keeps lying
That this is for the best
And nothing here is wrong"

"No, I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart
No, I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all"

"All that I know is I don’t know
How to be something you miss
Never thought we’d have a last kiss
Never imagined we’d end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips"

"You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all the time
But I never thought I’d live to see it break
It’s getting dark and it’s all too quiet
And I can’t trust anything now
And it’s coming over you like it’s all a big mistake"

"Stayed inside
I was so upset
I cooked up a plan so good except
I was all alone you were all I had
Love you, well you were all mine
Love me, I was yours, right?
I was yours, right?"

"They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cause he’s moved on while I’m still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don’t break even"

Like I said, I may add onto this at some point.  Or I may just leave it here and not look at it again.